Thursday, October 1, 2015

Reasons for Divorce, part 1

I just found  this article that references Dr. Helen Smith's book, "Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood And The American Dream" in the Daily Mail and it's somewhere between pure cynicism and abandon all hope all ye who enter here. Read them and weep. ..or laugh. You won't be neutral.

...from the internet article:

According to the Office for National Statistics, marriage in Britain is at its lowest level since 1895. In 2011, there were just 286,634 ceremonies — a 41 per cent free fall from 1972, when 480,285 couples tied the knot.


For an army of women, Mr Right is simply not there, no matter how hard they look for him. And the reason? When it comes to marriage, men are on strike.


Why? Because the rewards are far less than they used to be, while the cost and dangers it presents are far greater.


Ultimately, men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,’ says Dr Helen Smith, author of Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood And The American Dream.


They don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over.'


Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.’


So, what’s a man to do? ‘If he’s determined to get married, then he must get a pre-nuptial agreement,’ says Baldwin. ‘Otherwise steer clear altogether.'


Be in a relationship, even live together. But don’t get married. Especially if you have any prospect of making money.’


American social commentator Suzanne Venker agrees. The problem with divorce settlements, she says, is women want to have their cake and eat it.


We messed with the old marriage structure and now it’s broken,’ she says. ‘Back in the old days, stay-at-home mothers got a financial reward because child-rearing doesn’t pay cash.'


Now we want total independence from men, but if we divorce — even without having children — we expect to get alimony for ever. We can’t have it both ways.’


Along with the prospect of endless domestic criticism, this is why men are saying ‘I don’t’ rather than ‘I do’. Men need marriage like a fish needs a bicycle.


Many women have been raised to think of men as the enemy,’ says Venker. ‘It’s precisely this dynamic — women good, men bad — that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes.'


After decades of browbeating, men are tired. Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s their fault. The rise of women has not threatened men. It has just irritated them.’


But by far the most negative aspect of marriage is the likelihood of being edited out of your children’s lives — if it all goes pear-shaped — by a state that has relegated the role of father to its lowest point ever.



That last paragraph is the most cruel ever, and the cause of many men just giving up on life - it has been arbitrarily ripped from them with no functional recourse. For this, there is no one but the women to blame and when it comes back to bite, your 'society' has had it.


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