I've
decided to make this my post displaying my probable cognitive decline
due to what appears a rather strange set of new 'rules.' I don’t
expect to be doing any other posting except the occasional update on
this one until the situation improves. New ‘stuff’ will be added
in time sequence, first to last rather than newest first.
*
* * * *
February
Fun! - 3/4/2016
Left
SHCC w/o any of the meds that I have been taking since October, 2010.
‘Company policy’ they said. Great.
Hired
cab for transport to a Lake City hindu roach motel. Interested to
find it had turned into a drug den during my 3 year absence. Cabbie
warned me that ‘you have no friends there, only acquaintances. Keep
your door locked and do not let anyone in.’
Took
2 daze (sp int’l) to re-acquire said meds. Very weak, dizzy, and
disoriented when acquired. Could not have been done w/o the help of
A. Tripp. Much appreciated, SHCC. You get the Award
for Lousiest ‘Company
Policy’ of the Year.
Month
progressed with much noise & fighting amongst the ‘neighbors.’
Cabbie correct. Shit-hole from Bombay. One night-fight involved 4
gang-bangers going at each other hammer & tongs, observed by
small, 65 year old, white cripple behind locked, dead-bolted, and
chained door with ‘drape’ drawn by peeking through filthy window.
Cabbie right. Wished door had dead-bolt set into other than wood, no
striker plate, merely whittled hole in softwood. Chain previously
broken, end-plate merely screwed into door moulding. ...wondering if
gang-bangers ate white meat.
Zero
maintenance & cleaning. After 1st week, the request
that the blood-stained sheets be replaced finally granted. Washcloths
appear to have been used previously as toilet paper. Motel owners 1st
generation dot-heads, quality as one would expect. Motel strictly 3rd
world.
At
beginning of 3rd week, dreadlocked druggie gang-bangers &
their screeching mud shark females evicted by a large force of cops
with K-9’s. Briefly, peace was achieved. Apparently made bail, some
have returned. No nightly fights so far. Far end room on this side of
Bombay West underwent full carpet removal, replaced ‘furniture’,
2 more rooms to be done (told by ‘housekeeper’). Considering the
extreme filthiness of present room, gang-banger rooms must have
really been a treat. Blood stains in furniture & carpet difficult
to clean… (speculation, w/ lousy housekeeping & general
shabbiness of Bombay West, likely accurate)
To
continue with my search for reliable medical care, read ...another
FUBAR Monday as that link pretty-much says most of what has taken
place during February.
To
have my high blood pressure and anti-seizure meds renewed, I MUST see
a doctor regardless of the fact I have been taking them for 5 years.
As it stands I do not have one and the one in Live Oak is not
available to me now for 2 main reasons not worth the time to write
about. At 2 AM this morning, I awoke just thinking of what options I
have available regardless of my funds and it boils down to one. I
made the last call this morning and to synopsize it, I’ll have to
get myself down to the LCMC, get admitted (iffy), probably spend a
couple of days there (more iffy), definitely pay my motel rent
to hopefully return and find all my worldly possessions intact (very
few, a pitiful bit of my 65 years and millions of air-miles), all for
just having my old prescriptions refilled.
Enough
of this. By this time tomorrow, I’ll be in full withdrawal from the
meds and this time, I’ll know what to expect. So for the next
length of unknown time, adios.
I’ve
had enough of this Obummercare goat-rope.
Dancing
thoughts – 3/5/2016
Today
is the first full day off of the high blood pressure med, Diltiaz.
Yesterday
evening saw the last of the Dilantin which I had been taking at
half-doses for 2 days to stretch the supply. The Keppra supply is
still good for 3 more days, however I have been taking 2 rather than
3 pills a day to stretch them. The prescriptions were not to come out
even to begin with and the druggist miscounted 2 of the 4 (Percocet
was the 4th and I’ve only used it when the shingles pain
became too much) prescriptions anyway. Yes, I counted the pills when
I got ‘home.’
No
news from DCF yet, so the very unpleasant option of the ER at Lake
City Medical Center is on the table. God, I hate that thought.
Doc
J volunteered the information a week or so before leaving SHCC that
he wasn’t sure that Medicare/Medicaid would pay him for visits out
of SHCC. The general feeling I got from that final visit was that he
was bidding me adieu. I’ve (presently) got the cash, the visit
would only require an appointment and a $130 cab round trip.
My
head is full of fuzzies this morning, the title above reflects my
thinking processes. Can’t seem to focus on an item for more than a
bit of time, then it skips right along. Kinda jerky, not really
unpleasant, it’s just uncoordinated.
I
need to make an inventory of my poor, sorry possessions in case I
wind up in the hospital again. I have 100% confidence that the
miserable management of this roach motel will have at them if I’m
gone for any lenght of time. Unfortunately, waiting until getting so
scattered is going to make it difficult. I can’t concentrate long
enough to get anything coherently done. Wheeling over to one of the
boxes, trying to memorize the contents, wheeling back to the computer
to one-finger it down, well… Using one of the little lap-tops has
proved too clumsy. With only one useful arm, things keep ending on
the floor. Maybe in a few daze!
Some
things just couldn’t have been foreseen. Who would have thought
having one’s prescriptions of 5 years would be so difficult to
renew?
...wish
I knew how much of this scattered feeling is the lack of the meds,
anticipatory expectation, or both. Last time I knew nothing and the
scattered feeling became a real feeling of dread after 2 days. I’ve
GOT to suppress that. Dorph, the much younger math PHD friend of mine
reported the same feeling after chemo for melanoma with his becoming
permanent, ending his career. The thoughts of something similar
happening to me is an absolute horror. I’ve seen too many of the
drugged-out ‘vegetables’ at SHCC so lost in having just moments
of reality…
*
* * * *
Bitch
of the day (hell, century) – one of the gang-bangers just came out
of its pit and fired up its car to ‘listen’ to rap. BOOM BOOM,
curse-curse-curse, BOOM BOOM… This is directly in front of my door.
Closed, re-locked, went into simmer mode…
That
stuff is supposed to be music? ‘Fuk dat wite bich fuk her gud.’ I
HOPE that’s a recording and not on the airwaves. With racket that
antisocial, anybody seen the antichrist around lately? </bitch>
* * * * *
Shaky
day - 3/6/2016
Rough
morning, weak, ears ringing, hard to breathe. Expected. Head full of
mush, however no worse than yesterday. Managed to take care of
necessities, including making a bowl of oatmeal and a pot of coffee.
Tested to see if I could wheelchair any distance, heart rate went
through the roof before getting as far as the office of this place.
Too early.
Last
night was ‘interesting.’ Loud knocking on the door after
midnight. Ignored, no particular worry as there was nothing I could
do about it. This morning around 9 AM, I opened the door and watched
the cop cars making rounds of the motel. As expected, drug dealers
back. Good old Bombay West.
If
all holds, tomorrow should see my rent covered for another week just
in case. Have to wait until someone that understands English (the
housekeeper) can take my card. Too scattered to move until this
unpleasantness passes and since the search for decent housing so far
has been a bust, guess I’ll just stay here for the moment. ...out
of the frying pan, etc.
I’ve
been rethinking how to get on the old, very functional med routine I
was on prior to the 2012 mangling as it is the only thought that is
really worth a damn. I’m making a reservation 1st thing
tomorrow with SVT to the supermarket (the work-around), then wheel
over to Dynamic (appointment or not, cash only until my ‘insurance
kicks in), then call for ride to the bank to have them fix the error
they made in my log-on for internet banking services as I’ve no
fixed address anymore (they added a ‘space’ in the second
verification!), then ‘home.’ Hopefully I’ll be feeling well
enough Wednesday (earliest available time) to do it all. Wednesday
looks like fair weather and maybe, just maybe all will go well. Why
exiting Macclenny was so
professional and exiting SHCC was so poorly handled can only be speculated.
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