Sunday, September 6, 2015

Bring Out Your Dead




This started when I was trying to find out what one calls the rolling, positionable height & sitting angle, stretcher-like do-dad they carry the semi-living into and the hopelessly horizontal out of these drooling academies.

Euphemisms are fun for those that like black (not the people, the attitude) humor.

Drooling academy: rest home
rest home: old age home
old age home: retirement home
retirement home: where one goes when everything has been stolen
pauper's home: geriatric center
geriatric center: storage facility for useless old farts
elder care: warehouse for the soon-to-be-on-ice
impaired care: butt-plug heaven

557,000 hits for “euphemisms for old age homes” in Google. These are just my black humor thoughts, the listings for “homes for the hopeless” goes beyond depressing.


All of the domiciles racing to the bottom to meet the government mandated minimum standards.




Good book, it'll make one wish for the alternative. Makes one wonder why one strives so hard in life only to find at the end, not a single thing one did was worth any more than the contributions of an ant. “Living” with the “contributions” of the wetbacks in Albuquerque and the utterly brainless crack-head “bruthas” in Lake City to my health and well-being has given me a wonderful view of “human” life.


As far as the meat carts, these names for the devices came from just one vendor, Cross. Euphemized to death. I'm tired of this game, think I'll go play “balloon toss” with some of the brighter pieces of meat.
 

Roll-in stretcher trolley - Stretcher/Transport chair - Roll-in trolley with Stretcher - Self loading chromed stretcher with Twist system - Self loading stretcher, adjustable heights - Stretcher with adjustable heights - Roll-in cot - Roll-in stretcher

 
I'll be riding another one of those again soon enough, next time with the blanket pulled a bit higher. No real name apparently, tried multiple sources plus asked a number of nurses here. No consensus but the too generic “stretcher” so I'll start one -

Meat Evacuation Handler




...two model STX 702 restraint straps are provided with the Cross Stretcher/Transport chair.
Why only two restraint straps? Where's the Thorazine hose?

Abandon all hope ye who enter here...
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